The Real Reason You're Distracted (It's Not Your Phone or that cake)
Temptation isn’t something we fight. It’s something we fuel.
You didn’t get distracted because your phone buzzed.
You got distracted because you wanted it to buzz.
Temptation doesn’t exist "out there." The cake, the Netflix tab, the email ping - they’re just inert objects. What makes them magnetic is you. More specifically, the energetic buzz you feel when your brain says, "Maybe just a peek..."
Temptation isn’t something we fight. It’s something we fuel.
And most of us fuel it without knowing it. Especially high-performers who’ve been taught to manage performance with more discipline, more hacks, more structure. But these tools aren’t the solution - they’re the symptom. Habits are for the unconscious. Discipline is a cage that keeps freedom at bay. No one ever hacked their way to mental peace.
Here’s the irony: the real game isn’t about resisting temptation. It’s about removing the need to resist it. And no, this does not mean giving in to it.
Your inner voice isn't lazy. It's misfiring.
If you’re in a senior leadership role trying to squeeze performance out of an overworked brain, you've likely tried the usual suspects: time-blocking, Pomodoro, digital detoxes, emails only twice a day.
But distraction isn’t about a lack of will, discipline or being broken in any way. It's about sensation hunting.
When your body experiences a sensation (that tiny buzz of anticipation), it's signalling a chemical need. That sensation is the body's way of saying, "I want a hit." A hit of dopamine, adrenaline, cortisol - anything to scratch the itch.
So we go hunting for stimulation. For a reason to scroll. For a reason to refresh the inbox or pick a fight or slam another coffee.
With everything that we do we are following the trail our chemistry sets for us. From checking social media while still in bed, that first coffee we seem to make without thinking, to the way we respond to others - it is all driven by chemicals in our system. And if you don't believe this, just ry not checking your phone or skipping that coffee and just watch how your body responds. The sensations drive all our actions all day long.
And when the internal buzz gets too much to handle we want to get away from it. Many escape by turning to alcohol - not to process the sensation, but to suppress it. Alcohol numbs the signal so we don't have to deal with it. It's not resolution; it's avoidance wrapped in a socially acceptable bottle.
Temptation is the sensation, not the object.
Think of that email notification. Or the chocolate in the fridge. Or the extra drink after the long day.
It’s not the object that tempts you. It’s the body’s craving to resolve the sensation that the object triggers.
That craving isn't evil. It’s not even personal. It’s simply how the system operates - we just never got the manual. If you try to resist the object (e.g. hide your phone, throw out the Tim Tams), you’ve just removed the loop - you haven't extinguished it.
Reclaiming Focus is about extinguishing the war.
How to remove the need to resist
Temptation only lives as long as you react to the sensation it creates. So, what if you didn’t feed it?
What if, instead of resisting or indulging, you just observed the sensation?
No labelling. No story. No “I should” or “I shouldn’t.” Just noticing. Feeling.
That’s the moment the feedback loop breaks.
In that moment, your brain doesn’t need to create a thought, story, or excuse to justify the craving. And suddenly, that cake? It no longer tempts you.
It's no longer a reward or a threat. It's just cake.
From resistance to release
The irony? This isn’t about being stronger. It’s about being less reactive.
Temptation becomes irrelevant when the body has no unresolved sensation to chase or avoid.
That’s what we do inside Reclaiming Focus.
We don’t teach you how to fight temptation. We teach you how to eliminate the need to.
Because when you’re no longer resisting, focus becomes effortless. Sustainable. And damn productive.
And that, my friend, is when your leadership moves from reactive to resonant.
Want to learn how to move from friction to flow? It starts by getting curious about your sensations.
Visit www.darrenfleming.com.au/reclaiming-concentration to explore more.
